strum.i'm waitin for ya.

you're my song.

it's been so long.
i never had a chance to play this for you.
cos everytime the music starts,
i always cannot go with the tune.
and then you went away,
now the lyrics seem to stray.
so ~~how~~ can i not love you?
when i live just for you.
you took away the heart in me,
that once beat in harmony.
now, i am torn apart,
feeling unemotional somehow.
sometimes, i can't help but cry.
i miss the way we used to be.
and the sad part,
the song i made,
is just a music that will fade

welcome to candice's blog. you have now entered her world of emotions, let-gos and setbacks. please try to tag on the taggie and add happiness into her life and make sure she is not alone on this devastating path of her life. thank you.
hey there ppl, i know my blog's EMPTY. kinda. willl update it often and add more nice stuff soons kays? thanks. (:

and the reasonis you.

.candice.au.eong.tian.ying
.female.
.12goinon13.
.3/11/1992.
.ex-peihwa.current.rgs.bowling.waddlian.104er.
.likes happy endings.
.hates sad endings.
.alicia keys. christina aguilera.
.stressed.
.up.
.totally.

i found a reason for me. to change who i used to be. reason to start over new. and the reason is you. i found a reason to show. a side of me you didn't know. reason for all that i do. and the reason is you. in the end, you still despise me but i have to thank you. cux you made me stronger you have come to candice's world her world her life. treasure. cherish. fall. come on don't stop coming desire. bravery* setbacks. the insignificant world. is revolving. into a place smashing through my heart.

but everythingmeans nothing.

Saturday, July 09, 2005

taking it for granted

i don't know. i'm just living everyday of my life,just to make the days pass. i'm sick of school, even though i've just survived only one week. i just can't stand the pressure, facing the teachers, facing the lecture, discipline, failure, truths, inabilities, painful suffering. i'm sick of carrying out my life for pts, slogging out doing some projects as if we'll earn money for it. what enjoying ourselves through work. must see the situation first mah. week 2 was a fcking week.

the thing is, i don't know what i'm living for. sometimes i think, why am i here. somehow i feel that my posts are too fckingly stupid. but who cares. i don't know what to say. but i'm TIRED. school. maybe i should have just gone to a neighbourhood school and emerge first or something. i'm TIRED. of sitting there for an hour, trying to listening to crap and at the same time trying to keep my eyes wide and at the same time trying not to think of other things. i'm tired of looking at powerpoints on the screen. i'm tired of listening to those drony voices. i'm tired of hearing the squeaking of the markers on the whiteboard. i'm tired of cleaning the whiteboard for the teachers. i'm tired of passing down worksheets down the row. i'm tired of tests, exams, and everything in the school. i'm tired of the school compounds. i'm tired of the school activites. what racial harmony dress up as a dish. i don't see what do we actually learn from it. last minute tell us must go and perform if not will get class booking. yes, the school wants us to be all rounded people, but. must think of us mah. i remember the time last year when i came to rgs open house. i was like. as if i can come here. i was like OH MY GOD at everything. its open house again this saturday. i feel like shouting at every pupil not to come here so that they will not suffer. well i can't do that, it's impossible. i'll probably get expeled or something. well that's a great idea isn't it. get out of the school. but somehow i dare not do it. its like. i planned. ok today i wanna do this hw and tht hw and this pt and that pt. in the end i did very little only. i don't know what i spend the rest of the time with. maybe daydreaming of how i get expeled of the school or having nightmares of me not being able to get promoted to secondary 2? everyday, i wake up, rush, get to school , copy homework, lessons, cca/third lang. reach home at night... copying homework: the thing is, no one can blame us for copying homework. firstly, we don't know what to do for homework. so when we get to school, its like : AHH need to do ah! and then rushes to bag fishes out pen and worksheet and starts copying. secondly, we don't know how to do. it's indirectly the teachers fault cos they didn't teach us properly, not we never pay attention. and not everyone has tuition teachers or mommy or daddy to help them with their hw. lastly, we have absolutely no time to do. teachers reach home at around 6. me? earliest 7+ wtf. they only have to send red ticks across the paper. while I have to write letter by letter, word by word. ok teachers always say, when we do hw, we get distracted by msn messenger, blogging, tagging, or whatever shit. but the thing is we talk online for knowing WHAT homework to do. it would be so convenient of teachers could go online too. but that's totally impossible. argh enough of homework. francaise. i'm going to quit FRENCH soon lah. can't stand it. the big feathery moths at the moelc. makes me feel sick. and drained. i'm tired of dragging my feet through the gates of the moelc. i'm tired of seeing so many different school uniforms around. i'm tired of the damn hot and not ventilated classroom. i feel cheated. i don't know how others can actually score high marks for french when they read books under the table during lesson. while i was struggling down there, trying to figure out what the teacher was trying to explain, but still failed the exam. i guess its just my stupidity. one of the main reasons why i wanna quit is that it may affect my total gpa at the end of the year and i can't go to sec two. well you may think aww where got such thing. pls there is such a thing. anything can happen. however, somehow i can't bear to part with french. firstly. it's quite embarrassing. like ppl ask you: hey do you take third lang? i say: ehh i took french actually, but quit already. it's like you have no patience/ determination/ brains to carry on with the language. but who cares. i care. oh shucks. its just that i feel i have no substance for french. maybe i should have taken jap. i can't change language. oh yeah and i hate french tests and exams. its like during listening. BLANK. the voice just keeps going like somebody being kidnapped and has something stuffed in its mouth and i had to guess an answer. anyway, cdiv this week. can skip 4 days of school! its yay but sulk. you miss lessons. you fail ur tests. you can't go to sec two. see the effect?? yay: you don't get to see some bloody faces. you don't have to listen to lessons. i just don't know what's wrong with my life.whoots having training soon. argh. somehow i'm angry with training. i'm not mad. i know my math suck but i'm sure about this. training lasts for two hours. i take 3 hours to go there and come home. see the disadvantage? its not as if i have a chaffeur to send me around. so in total, i actually go out for 5 hrs for a training that lasts two hours. cool. i rather a 4 hr training session but less times a week. argh everything's dumb. it's just FCK. i tell myself i'm not hoping for anything. i just wanna go to sec two. pass my piano exams. have frens' support and feel warmth everywhere. i don't wanna get top in RGS i don't wanna be the best in everything. i just wanna have the most ability that i could have, as long as i try my best.

`in this fcking world; i just have to fight; to try; to survive.

if i ain't got you|9:30 AM

wherever youwill go.

k10405
jbong!
kvanessa
jsimin
kweiqi
jpenny
kjoellyn
jelaine
jshimin
jkexin
jlyn
jcassandra
jkaiqi[psl]
jmichelle[psl]
jmel loon
jaudreee
jannalyn
jnicholette
j20405
jlanya
jrgs inet
jFIL class page
jshenyang
jshuyi
jgoogle
jalethea
jhuiqi
jjustin
jrgs
jamanda lau

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credit: Blogskins
designer: eeeyaanand some parts edited by CANDICE.
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AND THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO HAVE TAGGED ON E TAGG AND GIVEN ME INSPIRATION TO MY POSTS! THANKEW THANKEW (:

i'm crazyfor you.

Video code provided by Music Video Codes HILARY DUFF-FLY
In a moment everything can change
Feel the wind on your shoulder
For a minute all the world can wait
Let go of your yesterday
Can you hear it calling?
Can you feel it in your soul?
Can you trust this longing and take control?
[CHORUS] Fly
Open up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine
Forget about the reasons why you can't in life
and start to try 'cus it's your time, time to fly
All your worries, leave them somewhere else
Find a dream you can follow
Reach for something when there's
nothing left and the world's feeling hollow
Can you hear it calling?
Can you feel it in your soul?
Can you trust this longing and take control?
[CHORUS]
Fly
Open up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine
Forget about the reasons why you can't in life
and start to try 'cus it's your time, time to fly
And when you're down and feeling low,
just want to run away
Trust yourself and don't give up
You know you better than anyone else
In a moment everything can change
Feel the wind on your shoulder
For a minute all the world can wait
Let go of yesterday
[CHORUS]
Fly
Open up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine
Forget about the reasons why you can't in life(can't in life)
and start to try(start to)
Fly
Forget about the reasons why you
can't in life(can't in life)
and start to try (start to try)
'cus it's your time, time to fly
In a moment everything can change

ALICIA KEYS - KARMA
Weren't you the one that said, that you don't want me anymore.
And how you need your space, and give the keys back to your door.
And how I cried and tried and tried to make you stay with me.
But still you said that love was gone, and that I had to leave.
Now you, talkin bout a family
Now you, sayin I complete your dream
Now you, sayin I'm your everything
You confusin me
What you say to me
Don't play with me
Don't play with me.
Cause what goes around, comes around.
What goes up, must come down.
Now who's cryin, desirin to come back to me
What goes around, comes around.
What goes up, must come down.
Now who's cryin, desirin to come back
I remember when
I was sittin home alone
Waitin for you
Til 3 o'clock in the morn
And when you came home, you'd always have some sorry excuse.
And explainin to me, like I'm just some kinda fool
I sacrifice the things I want to and do things for you
But when it's time to do for me, you never come through
Now you, wanna be a bond of me (eyyy)
Now you, have so much to say to me (heyy)
Now you, wanna make time for me
What you do to me.
You confusin me
Don't play with me
Don't play with me.
Cause what goes around, comes around.
What goes up, must come down.
Now who's cryin, desirin to come back to me
What goes around, comes around.
What goes up, must come down.
Now who's cryin, desirin to come back
I remember when
I was sittin home alone
Waitin for you
Til 3 o'clock in the morn
Night after night
Knowin sumthing goin on
Wasn't home befo me
You was,you was gone
Lord knows it wasn't easy, but believe me.
Never thought you'd be the one that would deceived me.
And never do wha u was supposed to do
No need to hose me fool, cause I'm ova you
Cause what goes around, comes around.
What goes up, must come down.
Now who's cryin, desirin to come back to me
What goes around, comes around.
What goes up, must come down.
Gotta stop tryin, to come back to me
What goes around, comes around.
What goes up, must come down.
It's called Karma baby.
And it goes around.
What goes around, comes around,
What goes up, must comes down,
Now who's cryin, desirin to come back to me