but everythingmeans nothing.
Saturday, August 27, 2005
Dear Math,
On thursday, you made me feel like an utter fool in that cursed classroom staring at the white sheet of papers not moving my pen. From young, you have been my best friend, I had trust and confidence in you always. But ever since I entered this school of such competitiveness, I knew that yours abilities would not be that strong anymore. But never did I expect, despite the reasonably amount of care i showed to you, you let me fall. What is the meaning of this? You are so important in life. You are the basics of life. You are so 'easy' to score. Why did you destroy part of my life.
In Term one, you reduced me to tears by letting me drop all the way to the last position of the class. But in the past, you NEVER did that to me. Even if I did badly, I was not ... the last. You know what the last means??? You should know. You are a most clever subject. But since you're not dumb, why not help me?
In Term two, you gave me a little light of hope by letting me score averagely in the test. And I felt that things were starting to go a little my way with you.
In Term three, part of you - algebra came and totally killed me with just an wooden rod in his hand. I never knew I was so weak. against YOU. Those times when I had so much faith and confidence had rapidly disappeared from my useless self. Yes, I keep talking about the past. Why? Because the past is what had happened. And why why why the things that has happened cannot be fulfilled in the present? I'm really confused. Yes i know last-minute works on you doesn't work, but you have to see my plight.
I'm totally disappointed in you, Math. I feel like a fool when I think of you now. Why can't I handle such a miserably weak midget like you, and instead get knocked down by you so easily? Yes I know, the mentality. But if not for you disappointing me, I would not have felt so lowly about myself. Of course, I know what to expect of you in the recent test. Perhaps nothing? Ahaha I'm prepared. to trash you my darling Math, and you better not dissipate all my hope and faith in you. Maybe you should not attempt to knock me down now, give me some confidence.
I think I should stop here if not you may be so hurt and you leave me. And if you dare, I will detest you forever.
Candice
Dear English,
The last formative test, I got the lowest in class. And a summative has just gone by. Can you help me to achieve better? I always had much faith in you. So you try not to bring me down.
Candice
Dear Chinese,
Past memories told me that I've always been excellent with you, my partner. And now, what is left of me and you is just a so tiny and brittle relationship, ready to break off any moment. The first term you let me down. The second term you let me down too. The third term you let me down again. I simply don't know what to do with you my ex-darling. I don't love you as much as I did last time. I do not have as much faith as I did before. However, I still have that spark of hope for you in me, so you. Better not disappoint me.
Candice
Dear Science,
My abilities with you were always the worst, but now, although you're not that good, you're at least better than your good friend math, and also your enemy history. Perhaps in Biology could you let me feel better with you and you can TRASH history up! Okay???
Candice
Dear Geography,
You are still so ever to me. Even though you did me well, I don't feel the passion and interest when i'm with you. And also, the new topic discussed now is not my type. Help me.
Candice
Dear History,
As a newbie, I didn't expect you the help me to the top of the school. As a newbie, I didn't expect you to help me do considerably well. BUT as a newbie, I did expect you to give me lower marks below average, as I know my limited abilities. Don't blame me for expecting so little of you, but I myself know my abilites. Sincerely I don't feel sparks with you. If we get a little closer and I shower more love on you, maybe you'd help me to do better??
Candice
Dear Literature,
I quite like you. You are not mean, not very kind and not very stubborn to handle. Unlike the other subjects, I can feel the interest in me when i'm with you. I like your first child, Poems best. He is so legendary, so full of mysteries to solve and yet so touching. He really did not fail you Literature, and also, your second child, Prose, I found that he was a very interesting boy. However, he was difficult to handle. Literature, your ancestor, Shakespeare had lead me to liking you more, and his product, the Merchant of Venice has not been really a bore during your lessons. I hope for an inseparable relationship with you, not only for the results, but also that passion.
Candice
Dear Bowling,
I don't know how much you have destroyed me this past year. Like all your friends, you have pulled me down, and now i'm hanging on a thin branch jutting out of the edge of the cliff, ready to lose my balance and fall into the volcano lava. However imaginative is that, my imaginations of you have not once been fulfilled.
When I crushed you, you didn't give me false hope. You let me lead ahead, and I loved you more than ever. And then lightning striked. Everything just went BOOM. You disappointed me. The confident grip on my fingers had disappeared. The powerful swing was gone. Uneven and conscious steps started to appear. What the hell have you done to me. And since then, I've been lowly looked upon. And I didn't like you anymore. All my dreams about you I purposely smashed. I didn't want myself to think so much wonderful stuff about you which cannot be fulfilled. And of course, if i didn't smash my dreams earlier, I would have got more and more hurt by knowing that my dream could not come true when the time comes.
After so many events about you had happened and gone, you are now somehow stagnant to me. Maybe I should take a break from you, from the happiness when i strike, to the depression when the dreadful thud of the ball in the gutter can be heard. However I still love you.
Candice
if i ain't got you|7:33 AM
