thesinger
thelyrics
thechords
themelody
foryou
you're
my song.
it's been so long.
i never had a chance to play this for you.
cos everytime the music starts,
i always cannot go with the tune.
and then you went away,
now the lyrics seem to stray.
so how can i not love you?
when i live just for you.
you took away the heart in me,
that once beat in harmony.
now, i am torn apart,
feeling unemotional somehow.
sometimes, i can't help but cry.
i miss the way we used to be.
and the sad part,
the song i made,
is just a music that will fade
welcome to candice's blog. you have now entered her world of emotions, let-gos and setbacks. please try to tag on the taggie and add happiness into her life and make sure she is not alone on this devastating path of her life. thank you.
hey there ppl, i know my blog's EMPTY. kinda. willl update it often and add more nice stuff soons kays? thanks. (:
and the reasonis you.
.candice.au.eong.tian.ying
.female.
.12goinon13.
.3/11/1992.
.ex-peihwa.current.rgs.bowling.waddlian.104er.
.likes happy endings.
.hates sad endings.
.alicia keys. christina aguilera.
.stressed.
.up.
.totally.
but everythingmeans nothing.
Sunday, August 14, 2005
now i am awaiting my sentence --> the eighth week of term 3. however dramatic i put it, i'm not embarrassed or guilty to say that i simply dread the days of term three. this term had put me, in fact soaked me in a sea of miseries. its just simply eight words: i do not like to go to school. simply four words for the reason: i don't know why. explanation: i don't understand myself. but there's one thing i know. the answer to this question: what is the word that most commonly appears in your mind? not WHO is our new bio teacher. not HOW do we do algebraic factorisation. not WHEN does school end. not WHAT have i learnt. not WHERE is our chem practical. but WHY. just that simple three letter word allows me to waste half an hour thinking. i've decided not to think of the deadly thought that i can't get to sec two rp.but i don't think deciding means enough, cos what i want (decide) will not always come true. so problem is, how to stop that stupid thought from scaring me, or can i?
WHY is my life like this? i think it's simply like a jigsaw puzzle. many pieces make up my life. many past events both happy and sad make up my life. many traumas and surprises make up my life. many incidents and memories make up my life. however, in a jigsaw puzzle, all the pieces are important. if one is missing, the puzzle would not look perfect. however, sometimes, we do not have patience to go on, and we have the thought of giving up, or if we're angry and frustrated, slam all the pieces of jigsaw into the bin. if i was making a jigsaw puzzle, of my life. i would probably just throw away some ugly pieces that i simply detest into the bin, despite knowing that the puzzle would not even be nice. then we come to consequences. honestly i hate this word. now an impossible task for me to do is to control my emotions and do the puzzle properly. make it nice, perfect, all edges of the pieces are not frayed, not dirty, not mouldy, and the final picture would be perfect. that means a perfect life. but there's no such thing as a perfect life, is there?
i always need help. in terms of my emotions, feelings, schoolwork...etc. but i hardly do find help. partly because i feel it's rather embarrassing, well not embarrassing really, but i've let myself down to give up and actually call for help, someone else to teach you. its like if your other classmates can do it by themselves, why do you need to actually think of seeking help? but however hard i tried, i couldn't do it by myself. then i have the thought that maybe my classmates seek for help too. a big NO just appears. they are clever, yes they are. i feel as if i was some disabled person sitting in a wheelchair wanting to stand up, but i can't. sorry to say this but i know i'm VERY fortunate to be able to live normally and not to have any deadly disease. but since i'm so lucky, i must make full use of my life. and while i think i'm making full use of my life, while i think that i've put in a lot of effort. while i think that i ought to deserve something for all my worries, frustrations and hard work. nothing comes out straight. all of the consequences were bent, distorted, most of all, heartbreaking. it isn't that sort of heartbreak when your crush ignored you; it isn't that sort of heartbreak when you find that all your hard work has been wasted. it's just. heartbreak. you feel your heart breaking, in simple words. somehow the same as disappointed when you feel that your heart dropped to the lower part of your body. and when i receive that consequence, not only would i feel disappointed and heartbroken, i would feel. angry. when i'm angry. i can't breathe. i would not say anything. i would just keep quiet and try to answer all the wild thoughts and questions that would flash past my head. i think all these emotions are just a waste of time. but i can't stop them from coming, can i?
`you never know what is coming your way.
`a pack of ______ emotions//
if i ain't got you|7:30 AM
i've waitedall my life.