but everythingmeans nothing.

Thursday, September 01, 2005
i can hear the birds chirping. i can see the sun shining. i can feel the keyboard. i can smell the air. and my head is hurting. i'm having a FEVER. GREAT. basically the last week of school isn't a really pleasant one. i hated yesterday. well i don't feel like saying why, but i'm just pissed with everyone not being to understand. sometimes i think. why must i be a human? why can't i be a grape (apparently i was eating grapes at that moment) . a human has to study, to think, to learn, to fall, to experience,and to fight emotions. but a grape only has to grow, let people eat them and transform into a seed again. okay i shall drop this subject.
i don't feel like writing about my daily life. i feel that its quite meaningless. the september holidays are going to arrive, and i know that its going to pass by so fast, so unfruitfully, like every holiday. since i know it's going to be unfruitful, i should start planning how to make it better. not only in academics, but also my state of mind. many people think i'm depressed. okay i think i'm just a tiny bit depressed. maybe i just always show a more negative side of things. hmmm but i won't say i'm not depressed. yesterday i went back to my primary school. everyone seemed so. happy. i didn't see any eyebags, i didn't hear any sighs, i didn't feel a sense of boredom/unhappiness. so i think they're quite contented with their current lives. how did they actually manage to laugh so wholeheartedly. and the teachers. everyone had changed. or did i?
i think this post is stupid. i guess its due to my high fever. but then i want to thank elaine and simin for being there for me <3<3<3
thursday morning ; in the dark.
if i ain't got you|8:30 AM
